A Time Before
by Takahashi Rei
Summary: Time is something Okita could not have. He might hate him forever, but he wants to be selfish while he still can. Even if he is already looking at someone else.


**Disclaimer: **I'd die of bloodloss if I were to own them.

**Warnings: **BL content, and rated for safety.

**AN:** Something other than KHR... Character portrayal may be off, okay very off but I'm betting on that... Angst isn't really my thing I guess, but hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

He had always seen others with indifferent eyes. But gradually, that changed. Even if no one noticed, but he himself knew, he can never look at that person the same way again. Since when did that begin... he wondered...

"Hajime-kun!"

Saitou looked towards the voice for a mere second, then back to sipping his tea.

"What do you want, Souji?" He said in his deep, cold voice.

Okita's eyes narrowed slightly then went back to teasing him.

"Cold as always, huh, Hajime-kun." He sat down beside his comrade, overlooking the garden that was in full bloom with cherry trees.

There was not much time left, that only he himself knew. That was why he wanted to spend more time with the one he'd been looking at now for so long. He never knew he would ever look at someone this way. Not in the twenty-two years of his young life.

"What?"

Saitou turned to him. It was unusual for Okita to sit down quietly and watch with him as the flower petals fell, one by one. But Saitou did not hate it. He was just curious.

Okita chuckled, without looking at the other. "What? There are times even I know how to quietly appreciate the peaceful scenery."

Saitou raised an eyebrow, but went back to enjoying his tea nonetheless. Okita smiled.

_He_ already had eyes for someone else. Even if it was unrequited, he saw something so obvious that no one else could see. That was because he was going through the same thing, looking at that person the same way. And he almost refused to admit, that it was love he felt. Not if he was almost in dying terms.

Then, the sensation came again. His abdomen muscles constricted and he felt his throat squeezing the life out of him. Spitting blood at every cough as his hand covered his mouth. He hated it…

"Hey, are you okay?" Saitou put down his tea and moved closer.

However, Okita held up a free hand and stopped him. After a few more coughs, he looked up to meet worried, indigo eyes. He smiled.

"Don't worry bout it. Something like this won't be enough to kill me."

Saitou didn't look convinced, but Okita wanted to let it slide. And so he did…

* * *

"Okita-san… I'll keep quiet about your illness," Chizuru said, with unwavering eyes, "I promise I won't tell anybody."

Okita smiled. "Thank you." He walked away.

Even if he was prepared for this, but having it said to his face still surprises him after all…

When night falls, he sat out on the verandah, gazing out to the distant full moon.

"This is so unfair." He chuckled, fingers playing with the small white cup in his hand.

"Souji," a voice so rich and deep, he'd rather it call his name again and again.

Okita did not flinch nor look at his visitor. "What are you doing here this time of night, Hajime-kun?" His smile never left his lips.

"That's what I want to ask you. You're still unwell; shouldn't you be in bed resting?" Saitou went up behind him and took the cup away. "The ill should not be drinking sake."

Okita attempted to laugh, but the sounds came out as muffled coughs.

"There, see?" Saitou sat down, placing the cup far away. When Okita released the hand covering his mouth, Saitou caught his wrist. Blood stains covered the whole of Okita's palm and Saitou's eyes visibly widened.

"Souji, what is the meaning of this?" His raised his voice slightly, the dangerously enraged tone barely concealed.

However, Okita merely shrugged and pulled his hand away.

"Say, Hajime-kun, what would you do if I were to die?"

Looking back at that face that refuses to give up that smile, Saitou frowned. "This is no laughing matter."

"Got it." With a forceful pull, Okita grabbed Saitou's haori and pulled him close, until their faces were only inches apart. Before Saitou could react, or push him away, Okita gently landed a kiss on his lips, willing the other to not put up a fight. Even when Saitou regained his composure, his attempts to struggle and push Okita away proved futile. Okita held him down firm and strong. Saitou gradually stopped moving...

It was a light, fluttering kiss. But for Okita, it felt more like poison. Something he knew he should not have. A poison that caused addiction, and he would keep craving and craving until there was no more left. It was addictively sweet, yet deadly.

When he reluctantly parted, he took in the view of Saitou's fair, yet shocked face. The moonlight shone down on them, giving him a clear view of his divine features, a pale face with slightly tinted cheeks and bright indigo eyes that reflected the moonlight. Okita was mesmerized. _How cute…_

Saitou remained frozen, unsure of what to do. Okita's little tactic had made him speechless and all he could do was stare back at those surprisingly cold, emerald green eyes. And as if he could sense Okita's pain, he felt sorrow and despair overflowing from those very green eyes. They felt so distant from his own...

Captured by the moment, Okita didn't know what to think anymore. Lightly, he pushed Saitou down, gently… as if afraid of breaking him. He decided that whatever it was, he would not stop. Even if it would shorten his life span, he refused to stop. Even is Saitou were to hate him for the rest of his life, he did not want to stop. Because he doesn't know how much time he has left… Right now, he doesn't care.

"Souji, wait…"

Okita ignored him and pressed his lips firmly on top of Saitou's own, hands pinning down both of the others' at each side, tightly gripping them and straddling the swordsman, trapping Saitou in his territory. His tongue slip into Saitou's open mouth and ravaged the wet canal. Licking clean, tasting every last bit of Saitou as he could until their tongues connected. It sent a jolt of electricity to his whole being and he was on a rampage, as if he were possessed. Saitou was at his mercy, and there was no escape. He closed his eyes shut and willed whatever to happen, happen. Okita was in a rush, and Saitou felt his impatience.

"I'm sorry... Hajime-kun..." He muttered between breaths.

After a while, his grip gradually loosened. That forceful kiss turned into loving gestures. Okita was out of his mind, but this was all he could do now, to not hurt him, this was all left, that he could control. Just as he was about to give up, and slowly draw back, Saitou responded. Kissing him back, a hand slid up Okita's shoulder and cupped the back of his head, fingers curling up in hazel brown locks of hair.

Okita paused for a minute, surprised. Saitou looked at him from below and smiled. It was his way of saying he could continue. Okita wanted to slice his guts out and commit seppuku. He felt so guilty... Gritting his teeth, he once again connected their lips, and this time, both of them willingly kissed each other. Entangling and exploring, with Okita steadily dominating and Saitou quietly submitting.

Okita's hands slid down Saitou's chest to his abdomen, with a light pull, the obi easily came undone. Okita parted to watch Saitou's expression, but the man did not waver, he smiled back at him... accepting him... and that was all Okita needed right now...

Pulling down the scarf covering his pale, thin neck, Okita pressed gentle kisses, tracing them from his ear, down to his collarbone. His hand had already moved away the apparel covering Saitou's pale, fair skin. His torso came into full view, his muscles perfectly sculpted and skin as soft as silk. Okita had never in his life, seen anything so beautiful.

Careful with every touch, as if not to spoil that perfect skin, Okita touched and felt as much as he could of Saitou's body. The muffled moans from Saitou were all Okita needed to keep on going. His lips lightly sucked on Saitou's chest, in attempt to mark, and claim, even if for a brief moment, and he wondered if he could claim even more…

As his hands slip further down, he felt Saitou twitch slightly under his touch. Okita paused, Saitou had his head thrown back slightly and was biting his lips, breaking the skin, letting trickles of blood trail down his chin.

"Hajime…" Okita called out, breathlessly.

Saitou opened his eyes and slowly let his lips go. Okita moved up, licking away the crimson liquid that stained Saitou's flawless face. It tasted salty, yet surprisingly sweet. Saitou's hands found their way to Okita's arms gripping them. Okita's mouth covered the bottom lip where Saitou had wounded himself and lightly sucked on it. His hand moved down his abdomen and rested at the band tying up the hakama. Okita tried exerting a little more pressure, pushing the band lower. Saitou shuddered at the movement and Okita ceased.

"Souji…" Saitou said, almost breathlessly, catching Okita's attention. "Continue…"

Okita looked back at Saitou, bewildered. "Are you sure, Hajime-kun?"

Saitou cracked a smile. He truly looked like an angel. "Ah…"

Nothing more had to be said. Okita forcefully pulled down the hakama and the cold night wind made Saitou shudder. Saitou already had a full erection, not losing to his own. He kissed Saitou along the inner thighs. Saitou shivered at every little gesture. His hands covered his own mouth to prevent his voice from coming out. He didn't want to be heard, not this voice of his. He felt embarrassed enough to be exposed.

"I'll be gentle... Hajime-kun..." Okita soothed, when Saitou let out a tiny yelp, "I'll be very gentle..."

And Okita kept his promise.

When dawn broke in, it sent rays of light into Okita's room where he had forgot to fully slide his door shut. He wrapped his arms tighter around the other occupant on his futon, burying the other's head into his chest. He made himself comfortable, nestling in dark purple hair that smelt of faint cherry blossoms.

_I want to stay with him... even if it's just one more day... one more hour... one more minute... I want to stay by this person's side... _

Okita lightly kissed Saitou's forehead, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty. He then whispered.

"With this, I can leave you in Hijikata-san's care... I love you, Hajime-kun..."

End.


End file.
